Developing inner strength | Remote-controlled by fellow human beings?

Who decides whether your inner fire burns or goes out? Who decided about your inner peace?

Many people try to feel strong by making others feel small. They feel superior in these moments. Yet it is their flame that is small and not that of the sufferer.

I, too, went through such experiences. However, I did not realize this at that time. I was still very young to realize this. This realization helped me to understand my environment and myself. My inner fire was not always carried by me. It resembles this lantern on the cover picture. There were people who wanted to blow out this candle and others who tried to steal it from me.

My inner fire was almost extinguished at the hardest time of my life. One little blow would probably have been enough to extinguish it. Self-doubt was growing.

What external and internal influences could have brought you to this point? What can you do to change this state and mobilize your forces? Does the love you have for yourself play a big role in this important matter? Or the self-image you have of yourself? Find out in our article.


Titelbild - Innere Stärke finden - Entfache dein innenliegendes Feuer. Auf dem Bild ist eine Laterne im Dunkeln zu sehen. In ihr brennt eine Kerze. Die Kerze symbolisiert mit ihrem erhellenden Licht die innere Stärke. Es liegt an uns, das Feuer und die innere Stärke zu erhalten.

Why do people put others down?

Often we find the answer behind actions of those people. Often the answers lead to problems that these people have with themselves. Instead of holding up the mirror to themselves and changing something, they point at other people. Hurt them, make them feel insecure, and ultimately take them off track.

For example, when a person tells you what you can and can't do, they are assuming themselves and their own limitations and transferring them to you.



Someone who is always telling you to work on your appearance, always calling you out on your body, may be dissatisfied with themselves. Color those emotions on you instead of dealing with yourself. After all, it's easier to deal with others instead of yourself.

Someone who puts you down full of energy may actually have problems with their own self-esteem and is hiding behind a facade. Because that way, that person may seem bigger and stronger than you are. People put themselves in a light that is not real. Don't let anyone tell you how "small" you are.

Have you already experienced something like this? Then take a closer look next time. Maybe you will notice something behind the actions of these fellow human beings.


Gather and mobilize strength


Protect yourself. Do it for yourself. Remain friendly to the people who harm you unconsciously, but also consciously. Do not descend to a level that does not suit you. Don't treat them the way they treat you. Set the difference between you and them here.

You may not imagine what you can get out of yourself in a few weeks. How quickly you can light up your inner fire and get it burning like never before. Do it and experience that strength.

Many days I feel so good that I can feel my positive energy and its effect on others. Do you know this too? Gather your strength. Look back, look at today.

  • What have you experienced?
  • What did you have to go through in your own story?
  • Did you have to fight alone?
  • Believe in yourself and move forward?
  • What situations have made you the person you are today?

Answer these questions quietly and completely for yourself. You can also write down the questions and write them down on paper. You may come to a deeper and more accurate conclusion.

Do you realize how strong you are? You carry your individual experiences and challenges with you, just like every person in the world. Don't let the negative emotions take over and distort your self-image.


Have you ever heard of the positive resume?

Don't worry. This one resembles the professional resume zero :)! It's more like a resume that you create for yourself and fill with positive experiences. It doesn't matter what negative events happened in the same year, for example. But what do you get out of it?

You get a great insight into your life. Beautiful moments and experiences are often short-lived and forgotten. Especially when they already happened a long time ago. Yet it is precisely these experiences that touch our hearts. The positive resume helps you to revive all positive experiences and perhaps long forgotten moments. It will be much easier for you to see the positive in a moment when the negative outweighs the negative.

The positive resume begins with the year of your birth. Even if you can't remember the first years of your life, they are full of life. Ask your parents, siblings or acquaintances. Your first steps, words, going to kindergarten, first friends and much more belong here. Really try to capture at least one positive or beautiful moment for each year.

At the end of the blog you will find two templates that you are welcome to save and use.


Take time for yourself every day

Respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself, others won't either. Nor do they have to. It only plays a minor role. But the way you treat yourself is the way those around you will treat you. Love yourself. Only if you love yourself, just as you are, you can respect yourself and carry your love outward. The other way around also your environment towards you. In order to be able to help others, you must first be well. YOU must take the time to take care of yourself. Heal your wounds and gather strength. To understand yourself before you understand others, to understand others even better afterwards. 


Understand your emotions and become aware of them

Many people go through times when they feel small and powerless in the face of setbacks. Struggling with themselves. Want to understand themselves and put aside doubts.

Set a purpose or motivation for yourself to live through the current state more easily:


  • should I love myself?
  • should I respect myself?
  • Should I keep fighting?
  • should i live through all this?


  • in the darkest time of my life I had only myself and I proved my strength to myself often enough and I still need it. For this I need my self-love.
  • I need to maintain respect for myself in order to move forward with gathered strength and believe in myself.
  • I am needed. Needed for myself, my life and my fellow human beings. Because I myself am the key to my happiness.
  • I am destined for more than just experiencing problems. I can learn a lot from this and move forward more experienced and wiser.


The urge to live a life in which we can act freely and live completely happily can be so strong that we can move mountains. And as mentioned earlier, we ourselves are the key to this goal.


If you need support in dealing with negative emotions, you can check out our self-learning course in dealing with this challenger here. We have an infographic from our course for you here that can help you in dealing with negative emotions.

Infografik für Umgang mit negativen Emotionen


Personalities | The own life and environment

Every person sees the world in his or her own way. There are more than 7 billion people in our world and thus more than 7 billion highly different views on life itself.

Some of us shut ourselves away and turn our backs on the world. Others repress the pain and distract themselves with pets, friends, family or hobbies. You have to find the path that helps you. The path that applies to you, your goals, dreams and hopes.

It doesn't matter where we come from or what language we speak. We all see the world from our own point of view. None of us would tell a story exactly as another does. Even if you have experienced it together. We all intuitively decide where our focus lies. We ourselves decide whether we rather see the good or the bad in situations. Rather the way out or the cause. The key to our answers lies closer than we think. Namely in ourselves. No one can feel into our feelings, emotions and life story as well as we can ourselves.

We can focus on ourselves instead of seeking confirmation, opinions and impressions mostly from outside - expecting them to match ours.

When we look deep within ourselves, we find a strength that borders on magic. A magic through which we create everything! Through which we find everything in nothing to move forward. Happy, light and motivated.

We must not suppress the pain that lies within us. We may and can face it. We believe that we can face the situations - because the path that scares us the most is the one that makes us grow the most.

How can we radiate happiness and contentment if we don't have these emotions inside us? Build yourself, your person, and the self-confidence that is within you. The strength we seek is already within us.

All the happiness that comes from external circumstances, friends or loved ones is a kind of candy. A bonus. Pick what you want to carry inside you. Is it fear? Aversion? Or happiness, balance and joy of life? Accept and love yourself exactly as you are. Remember: Only your own thoughts about yourself count. Not those of others. Remain unique and do not conform to that which you are not. Act for yourself. Not to make it fair for others, to compare yourself with them or even to compete with them. You would only harm yourself by doing so. You are the key to your own happiness. For your key opens the doors you seek in your life.

Words are simply written. It is the implementation that counts. Your own development is a process. If you show perseverance and focus, you will thank yourself. It's more than just a kind of development. You get to know yourself better, learn your own strengths and weaknesses, and thus can better assess yourself. It's even really fun. There is more in us than we can ever imagine. Perhaps what lies within us has simply been overlooked or deeply buried. When we dig, when we face what we have found, we find something that will surprise us greatly. Our inner fire with the motivation to continue.


Where can I shift my focus?

Are there days, situations or people that come to mind within seconds? Situations that make you happy or sad? Have you changed or have you been shaped by situations?

Then you have already found the first topics to deal with.

One of the most valuable questions for us is the "why" behind many situations. On the one hand towards our own actions, on the other hand towards actions of other people. Because the "why" gives us a lot of information about our character traits, way of thinking and behaving, but also about the other person. It helps to judge yourself, people and experiences not only from your own perception, but to consider and understand the other person's point of view.

Through this you can understand what is happening exactly at this moment. When you become aware of a situation, you can also act consciously and not let emotions take over your actions.

Tip: Stay with yourself. Reflect on your own actions. How did you contribute to the situation? What triggered these statements in you? And most importantly, why did you act the way you did?

Don't judge yourself for past actions. If we all knew in advance how situations would progress through actions, we would all make mistake-free decisions. But wrong decisions are very important in order to move forward. Your present self has a different or rather new level of knowledge than at the time when action was taken. Look for positive experiences and the possible lesson behind the situation. Your experiences become richer. You learn from the past and develop your personality.

Do you have questions? Or something to add? :-) Then feel free to leave a comment

Your team from Rising Life Books

Here you can find the two mentioned templates for the positive resume

Vorlage positiver Lebenslauf in Tabellenform zum Ausdrucken.



Weitere Vorlage positiver Lebenslauf in Tabellenform zum Ausdrucken.

Leave a comment